At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
