so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
In America we eat man semen.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
