I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
