i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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