i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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