No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
