i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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