Swine flu is the new snow day.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
