Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
