i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
