Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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