I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
