Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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