Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Be still, my beating vagina.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
