I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
