honey bunches of taint.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize