Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
this boner is exhausting
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
