Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
