Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
