I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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