Do vagina's smell?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
