You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
