No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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