...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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