He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
