do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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