I don't think brook has ever known best
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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