I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
