the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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