I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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