gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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