I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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