if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
