just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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