Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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