im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
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Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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