when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
