as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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