you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
