I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
