Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
