don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
