He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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