I wish life had little blips of pornography
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
