My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
