Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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