i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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