Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
