Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
