If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
