Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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