don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
tell me about the fingering
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
