My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
