my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
