She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
