He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
