i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
